Thursday, April 28, 2005
i thought it was nice....but....aiyah.....dont say ler....
its still lingering in my mind....im afraid....plenty afraid....but i cannot remember the gist of it.......but it hurted, lots of crying....lots of wet pillows.....
every step i take i seem to fall.....everytime i pick myself up my hands go weak...i dont trust anymore....i dont dare anymore....who's fault? mine....
cause i assumed it was, i assumed it is, i assumed it will be......i was eager, i was happy....i fell down badly...
oh what the.....i think ill never ever touch that again....it hurts and its scary......when will a sweet dream come?
need to vent my sorrows on kbox...sing them out.......
the facts of life....
- 4/28/2005 09:59:00 PM
so what if i wait or not?
it makes no difference.......you still won't appear.....
the facts of life....
- 4/28/2005 08:06:00 AM
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
i used some of my $150. $16 to pay off a mahjong game...which i lost and owed for very long. $10 to pay for NSSC 1st Anniversary payment. $30 to pay for a set of Naruto figurines. And i placed order for a Zabuza figure which is the only one missing from the 2nd set i bought and an order for a 5 piece Japan-import Naruto figurines.
i bought the Naruto $30 today...but my intention was to buy the set of pokemon. but sold out....the one with Corphish and Blaziken. then fine....dont have. so decided to buy the other one, the one with Beautifly and Dustox and the 3 legendary birds, namely Articuno, Zapdos and Moltres. but that set dont have oso!!!!
NEVER MIND. decided to buy the Naruto no 3, the one with Naruto, Kiba, Chouji, Neji and Shikamaru + the 5 baddies under Orochimaru.....$40....but that gone too! i was like...."wah lau....saturday saw still have....today no more?!?! damn!!!"
so finally stuck between the Naruto stamps ($35) and the one i bought.....guess which i bought?!?! hehe...
DUH!!! of coz the one i bought! haha...sorry im lame....
the rest im gonna keep.....
ooh....the guys going clubbing on saturday to celebrate Dennard's b'dae!!!! i wanna go too!!!! haiz....but they didnt...or "forgot" to ask me.....draw lines or they forgot about me?
shld never have gone to CAS branch......
whatever.....
im gonna go play pokemon and sleep.........
oh...and piece together my figurines...jya
the facts of life....
- 4/27/2005 08:50:00 PM
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
in that 15 mins, i was thinking of what to sing. my english songs are ABSOLUTELY limited. finally decided to sing A Whole New World *as usual...whats new man.....haha* and i was hiding in Mdm Kath's office cubicle, with my branch head just next to me. Then Sebastian called and i sang.....then he said "Will let the judges hear the recording and will let you know if you are in by this week..." which most probably meant "im sorry you are out" in a nicer tone....haha
dunno...keeping my fingers crossed....
sorry guys for the pw thing...but gotta protect my blog and myself. i know its super troublesome when u refresh and have to type the pw again....but pls bear with it can? for me sake....plsplspls?!?! hehe....
what do u do when u have $150? save? buy stuff u need? buy stuff u want? or half half? hmm....haha
have to learn patience and control from buying figurines UNTIL my glass cabinet comes....hahaha
and Di...i wont neglest u oooookkk.....haha.....dOtz
the facts of life....
- 4/26/2005 10:44:00 PM
Monday, April 25, 2005
so tired...everyday...im just getting more and more shagged......one day gonna be like scooby doo the shaggy...haha...all the locks and unkempt hair....yucks...
i love her SO much! she's so cool lor!!! wheee!!!
i love di SO much!!! always cheer me up....hehe...hUgGieS...
gonna miss for 2 weeks.....
gonna meet di on Monday i hope....hehe
can do the drums for the song almost like the actual song itself! just that my rhythm sucks....haiz....
ok...gonna sleep soon.....
ps Adrian....do cherish urself....if u dont...no one will
the facts of life....
- 4/25/2005 09:13:00 PM
all im doing is watch my words....i know how treacherous the world can be...so i gotta be hush hush.... all of u who knows about my blog protection, pls don’t mention it...i dont want any peepers to know about my new blog. thanks
church practise was fine...but took long...but im glad things are wrapping up...yeaps
i forgot when we became good frens and when it ended....but at least we wont step on each others toes/tails anymore....u have taught me to protect myself, not trust people so much in this reality and to treasure myself. u also taught me music, some fun...and i thank u for it...really.......hope u all lead better lives from then on....ill be just a past memory to u all....
up and on to my new blog protection.....
i never stop crying
the facts of life....
- 4/25/2005 09:02:00 PM
the facts of life....
- 4/25/2005 08:59:00 PM
Saturday, April 23, 2005
sorry to those whom u think i have criticised, de-famed and put down
but i still stick to my principles. if u tell people to do what u think is right, do it urself too, set an example...lest people find ur weakness and use it...like me using it......
if u not sure u can do it, dont expect others too...like i never did tell people not to scold bad words....haha...
and dont ever treat ur frens like dirt and backstab them....one day you will get it back in full force....thats what i believe......to all lonely souls out there....better frens await u
anyway, thanks Wini and Mag, but im feeling better now....neutral in fact....like nothing ever matters in this world ler....
after talking to pastor, i was enlightened abit, but was angry to WHO ratted things out.....when people always say anything wrong, clarify with the person first....but apparently, it wasnt the case so for now......hmm...shant harp on it. anyway, i admit i was angry. but on the way home...i became very calm.
didnt feel like singing....but during Uncle Freddy's leading, i just sang...and almost cried...
i owe God an apology to. apparently, i wasnt really angry with Him. just that i didnt depend on Him, and that i was SUPER angry with those people, that i directed some anger to Him too....sorry God....u so "wu gu"...haha...
but now im super neutral. do what u all like...not my problem anymore....
3 things to be happy over...
1.) I did what i did and i got the result i wanted....hehehe...
2.) Im no longer in band
3.) I am leaving
after so long of using this place...time to say goodbye....gotta end it to shut prying fakes and all.....
mabbe will start an LJ where only people i give access to can read....dunno yet....still thinking...
whatever, it is U people who closed this down......not me.......
im glad this chapter has closed. i feel pity for them
the facts of life....
- 4/23/2005 11:11:00 PM
Friday, April 22, 2005
di....dont cry lar...kz? u r a nice boy....dunneed to cry de...remember...anything can tell me...
tmr gonna go work....hope someone will take the keys and lock it at the end of the day.....i wanna leave at 1pm....got something important to attend to...
ooh....kor going to thailand ler!!! bon voyage kor! must buy back things for MEEEE!!!! haha
since tmr got work....i gotta go sleep early....coz tmr 5.30am must wake up and open the office......yAwNs....
GROWING....im growing everyday......im still a big child....n im growing....
n still waiting........
the facts of life....
- 4/22/2005 09:35:00 PM
Thursday, April 21, 2005
ok...i actually signed up for a singing competition held by SAFRA Radio, that is Power98....its a english one. dunno why i will sign up when my forte is by rights chinese songs....the english songs i know are so limited!!!!! argh....
but the problem was the past few days i had a bad throat....no voice lor....then i was very scared they will call me to go for auditions ASAP. already 7 out of 16 people selected ler.....and today, my voice was slightly better, they called me! Sebastian to be precised. I was stunned! he wanted me to go over asap for a short singing audition! i told him i have a bad throat so.....
he said well, he can try calling back in a few days time, but no gurantees...coz lots of people signed up. that means there are lots more people behind me......so if he bypasses me now, there may be a chance the rest will be picked. if not, he will come back to me. i said its ok and sorry for any trouble caused. he said its ok...
man! what was i thinking?!? "sorry..." haha...when i should be the one SORRIED!!! argh...so hate it.....but well, if this chance really slips by, then it means singing career is not in my fate-line....not fated that is lar....but i hope he will come back to me......
should i email Power98 again to tell them i can sing ler? but i scared my raspy voice now will surely flunk me outta the competition....haiz...
so all i can do is to wait patiently for my throat to recover and see if the chance comes back to me....yar.... *crosses fingers.....pls pls pls* hahahaha....
thats a disappointment.....
talk to di today on the phone while he was working at 7-11....haha...which one....shh...haha....SLACKER! use the phone while working....later kena sack then u know...haha.....well, at least di lifted my spirits....talk to him i feel so comfortable and relaxed.....though keep suaning me and bully me...man....my family loves to do that.....am i THAT bulliable?!? hmm.....and keep calling me TOOT. say i like Pri School nerdy boy....toot toot cute......well, that makes 2 people saying im toot toot...........hehe.......but my throat hurts while talking....*gasp*...hope tomorrow's everything's well!!!! pls...let my voice be well....pls pls....
AM I THAT TOOT?!? hmmm.....dunno...haha...must be the glasses.....gonna change...
then talk to a VIP on the phone twice today......hehe...so happy...that person is the 1st person to say im toot-looking...but cute....hehe......shucks...im getting silly with all the hehe.....well....throat hurts too....but its more important to chat....yar....hehe....
surprised Kim Yee didnt join Superstar. her teacher wanna train me in singing...but on tuesday only....how?! argh......shld i change my tuition date? dunno...gotta discuss.....between my dreams/likes and my responsibilities....argh...
but i do agree my voice not that good...thats y needs training what....haha
shucks...got bitten by a mosquito.....
i seemed to be pressed at all sides nowadays.....argh....
damnit!!! why the tagboard not working?!?! checked Wini's one and Ernestina's one their's oso not working!!!! why?!?! my taggie!!!!! nOoooOoOoooOooooOooooooo!!!!!!!
bubbaizverytiredwannagosleepler..........
imlikefeelingsuperDEAD
the facts of life....
- 4/21/2005 09:08:00 PM
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
i hate people who set double standards........fuck those people....
some examples:
last time say "make use of what we have, so next time dont have we know how to use the minimal!" now, keep getting someone elsewhere to do for so long....kinda redundant...3?!?! and so many new ones!
say accept ideas. but wanna your own way. give oso dont listen.......
say treat all nicely....see others so ke lian so must be understanding. yet not understanding to those around u...instead...look down and all...ptuii!
exposure: to be exposed to something new
meaning its the first time. so people gotta experience.
what u all doing? get someone elsewhere to keep doing, so many left untouched till just recently....
this time round, im gonna say whatever i have whatever i feel....no constrains no restrictions. dont like it dont read! like i dont read urs at all....gonna change blog man, and only tell the truly understanding and attentive blog-readers...ptuii to the rest!!!
u can say im predjudice now. OH YES, i admit i am. why? coz people were predjudice against me first and things they say they dont do. i hate people like this and people who have double standards. so my opinions of u all TOTALLY changed. ooh...love seeing those people who hated me, and now i dont like them. love seeing them do something wrong or not what they say, then i smirk....coz caught their loophole and can complain! oOh yes!
GLAD IM LEAVING....HOPE IM NEVER COMING BACK
i shrug, i smirk and i laugh....see how things go kaboom! love to see things in danger....haha...im such a saddist now....
received a msg....the last line was "care to feel love"
i cared so much. what do i get back in return? predjudice. hatred. back stabs. rumours. bad attitudes. NO LOVE. so i totally dont believe anymore and wont take the first step anymore. wanna me to care. care first man....
i cannot stand it anymore....argh! let all my feelings run out....
gonna find a new blog space.......to let those who say dont this dont that but continue reading, to NOT read.
oOh....sorry.....sad....angry? MY PROBLEM?!?! nOooOoo.....so freak off....
ps. Angel, Baby Boy, Wini, Mag, DZ. the above 2 lines not meant for u all. u all say i dont this dont that but im not mad w u all. coz u all do what u say. u all dont double standard. so...keep it up :P and run the path with God........dont give up.
thank goodness its ending
the facts of life....
- 4/20/2005 11:03:00 PM
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
many things to wanna type.....but when i got home....guess i just lost it all.....
dont force me please....certain things are not meant to be....i really cannot be constrained. at least i let u know. if im constrained further....i will really just disappear from everyone's sights....BELIEVE ON THAT....so please....i already feel super tight, im not breathing properly...more like cannot...and im tired, drained..............im worn out...pls just let me go and rest....pls....
i just wanna do my best for my daddy and mummy....let them enjoy the last Parents' Day where i have a part to play...coz after this, im not involved in anything ler....i cannot and dont wanna be involved...im moving....so please, let me do a good job out of it. if im constrained now, i will just run away and leave this untouched...then it will be fucking unfair for my parents. i love them and i wanna the best for them....
people always think i do things for myself. my FREAKING SELFISH SELF. i never. i dont. i do things for everyone around me. i always cry about this issue and similar issues.......coz ppl dont understand me....some everytime say "you keep saying we dont understand u...but u will be surprised we do...".....u do....do u know this? all u all know is big empty talk........
and this time, im doing all im doing for my parents, whom i love dearly. i may make fun of them, get impatient with them, scold them, fight with them, make them worry...etc...but i truly love them lots...there are no parents in this fucking world better than my own....
so, just let me do a good job.....coz next time....no more for me...
i think i have spelt things out very clearly....so please....dont bug me...im pissed, tired and numbed to that issue ler........just let me go......
ever since dunno when, u ppl always make me feel like crying....always hating myself for it....i hate it.....so just scram outta my lives....im gonna scram too....away from urs.....
the facts of life....
- 4/19/2005 09:24:00 PM
Monday, April 18, 2005
not most......is few....
my closest and best frens are NOT in church, though i think of them as the same faith and religion. they are .... *drum rolls * Russell and Kelvin!!! *claps and cheers!* haha...im mad. well, some will even say they are not of the same faith. but anyway, i know of many christians and catholics where their closest n best frens are NOT in church...so...coincidence? i dont think so...
i did lots of thinking after reading her blog and now that im home, i need to pen down my thoughts.
Kelvin and Russell have always been there for each other last time. now less....and we may have drifted away, but even so, no one can come as close as us. next to them is Mag and Wini. Last is my kors and family.
we (Kelvin, Russell and I) were the biatchtresses of the biatchtresses...right? haha....we talk about anything under the sun. they accepted me for who i am. without for once, THINK in their mind, or SET a standard of me. they never expected Joseph Saw to be who they think. unlike certain people that tells you they are good and whatever and whatever, but once sharing or talking to them, you know they already set Joseph Saw to be who they think I am. that sucks. and hypocritcal when they themselves say I shouldnt conform others and they DONT conform others.....*ptuii!!*
they cared for me. they gave me room to grow. they confided in me. when things go wrong, they dont criticise, they dont keep quiet. they keep neutral and give points from all views. unlike freaking people who claim themselves to be the same as me, gives one sided views of their own, or views ALREADY biased towards the person they prefer...crap and shit.
Mag and Wini we were good buddies since young. now still so though we hardly have close chats. but they are the dearest sisters to me....yeapz! :)
kors, didis and family! the best family i can have!!!! oooh...* hUgGieS! *
all of u accepted me for who i am and stood by my side! i love u all!
so dont tell me close people come from church when my closest, only 2, come from my church.....and geez....many people are so act-act....*ptuii*
anyway...my craving for something COLD is back!!! ice creams...anyone? hehe....
thank you for those who have hurted me, loved me, ditched me...etc
i grew, learnt and adapted. i may hate you all, angry or whatever, but at the same time, im thankful for every step is a learning experience.
thank you for letting me know an answer....though i hadnt wanted an answer....but thanks anyway...
now...i really hope i wont be hurt again...too much hurt = too little trust = NO MORE
the facts of life....
- 4/18/2005 08:58:00 PM
Sunday, April 17, 2005
but one thing i super hate....split me, Mag and Wini up...while others get to be in their "click".....really stupid when u hear things like "dont be in ur clicks....gotta chat with others..." bullshit lar....hate this kind of double-standards thing...been seeing it everywhere n in church? sucks to the core....so i heck care, went to sit with Mag...but sorry Wini....make u feel so lonely.....
Didnt wanna go for dinner. I still stick to it i didnt want to go. But a small proportion of me was glad i wrent, 'cept for the freaking fact that only my click was dispersed.....really fuck man....
food was ok...the prawns and the chicken was the best i think. the worst was...the vegetables...haha...coz i didnt touch it....coz i DONT like vege...haha....next was the Fried Yam Scallop thingy....gross....haha
my table was quite happening. Shaoning, Eunice, Edna and Weiyan kept taking photos...i was their camera man of the day...haha....then me and Jiayan kept talking about lots of stuff, laughed many times...while she was freezing. then i kept complaining the waitress pour drinks for me never gimme ice at all....
but the most happening table gotta be Daune's table. kept laughing, making fun of each other...play games...so much action and movement!!! played zhong ji mi ma. then took a plate of prawns from them. then they kept putting stuff on Amy's plate. Like the chicken's head....haha...but Daune slipped and dropped stuff on her hp!!! so icky-sticky....and throughout the entire time, they keep laughing! i look at Geok Lan and I wanna laugh too! then she "dropped" a Gingko into my mouth and Su Ying was like "dont drop directly to his throat later he choke...." thanks man....haha....Gingko ROCKS!!!
then on the way home, sang lots of songs with Su Ying and Su Ling, then they together with Jindao made fun of me and my "albums"....haha....go find out from them...
Next week's Wini's b'dae!!! happy b'dae Wini!!!
and Su Ying...of coz my new layout is nice! haha......coz im nice oso....hahahaha
ok...gotta go sleep...nights!
the facts of life....
- 4/17/2005 10:44:00 PM
yesterday, met up with Kor and a few other frens n family for dinner and chitchat......lOlx...was nice...first time in TCC, the one at Clarke Quay....but the service...abit the sucks....haha...
anyway, i ate their Beef Lasagna....it was very nice! though i prefer lasagna that has more pasta....their pasta was slightly over cooked....mushy like cheese....i prefer lasagna where u can still BITE the pasta....then i had a Hazelnut Frappe...thats wasnt so nice...probably should have ordered other drinks...or tea, like Kor said "Coffee not good for throat....u sick must drink tea..."...lOlx....but never mind...there are next times...lOlx
stayed there till about 12.30am....was suppose to go home then...coz gotta chat with someone online...but was dragged to go clubbing with them.....in the end i submitted to their request...for the sake of chatting more with them * aiyoh....couldnt chat at all....so squeezy and noisy....unlike last time...lOlx *
didnt drink though...was still sick....hope dont fall sick again over the next few weeks......can die man...fever so many times...
wooh.....someone is a party animal sia....and looking at him, you wouldnt think so....haha
in the end, we left that place at 3 am, went to 7-11 for drink, chat until 4 plus, then papa came n fetch me and brought them home too!!! slept from 6am till now lor....haha
anyway....jo2!!! hope you can open the door for me!!! i already told them can meet!!!! very paiseh to cancel again....lOlx....
Dinner tonight.....i didnt bao ming....why got my blardy name?!?! now i have to go.....shit lar.....got plans already you know............................ grr
the facts of life....
- 4/17/2005 01:44:00 PM
Friday, April 15, 2005
Didi....now kor dont even know if it is good news or bad news i will be telling you soon.......so painful, yet so crazy.....
i guess im lying to myself...i can NEVER stop missing anyone i feel alot for.....and it hurts when u miss the person so much, feel so much, but the person seems nonchalant......is this suppose to be the way of the world? wanted to be cool about it, not miss so much, not take initiative to show my eagerness and to wait, be patient...but i cannot...i cannot...
why cant i? haiz.....really hate to be Joseph Saw.......where Joseph Saw goes by feelings...its a boon...yet a bane. its crazy....i try and try but i cannot.....dont wanna find out, yet wanna find out. dont wanna sms yet wanna sms.....argh.....why am i so? haiz....someone please save my life....
haha...gonna have a fun outing tmr....hehe....but dont feel like clubbing....still sick here....cannot club....*yAwnS*
got korkor....my son....and a new fren! girl?!?! hehe....pretty not? haha
love is such a freaking unfathomable thing.....u thought u knew it but u dont. u thought u got it but u dont. u thought u wanted it but u dont...damnit......idiotic thing.....but still lovable....yet idiotic....
no one to sing with me.....i feel so bored!!!! argh
naruto naruto....when u coming out? grrr.....im starving for naruto.........kuso!!!!!! argh!!!
haha...im mad.....u r mad....everyone's mad....but the maddest is U....*pUkeS*
ok.....gotta sleep early n wake up early tmr! got tuition class and gotta go church early for skit practice! jyana!
*added at 12.30am * forgot to add! all the best to my Uni frens who are having their exams!!!! that includes Grace, Mimi, Anne, Yans & Angie!
hmm...n should i join Channel U's Superstar competition? haha
the facts of life....
- 4/15/2005 10:08:00 PM
well...depends ernestina...if no 5566 song i listen to....i will take it away....muhahahahas
PACIFIER rocks!!! didnt really wanna watch it at first, but im glad i did! super cool movie! funny and cute! but only me and my buddy laughed.......the rest didnt laugh much.....or mabbe coz theatre only had like 10 people? haha.....
but it rocks! showing how Vin Diesel cope with family and kids....Peter and Baby really kawaii-ne!!!
actually wanted to watch samara...but i didnt dare! even though many people told me it was super funny....*ghost story funny? hmmmm* so caught Pacifier instead....haha...im glad....no bad dreams today!
played Impossible Creatures myself....so boring.......
Mag's hamster sick. pray for it. she bringing it to the vet tomorrow....or rather...today later at 9am.
gonna go do the program timetable....so tata....thats all for today :)
the facts of life....
- 4/15/2005 12:02:00 AM
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
blog = life
dont constrain me. captured animals react very, VERY ferociously
just back from a gathering....dunno why but tires me out alot.....so sian
sorry...i will be more responsible and set up a table soon.....coz i really dunno what to do as programs....kinda sucky u know when nothing is said...making me abit tat blur....haiz...never mind. will do the proper table of programs soon and pass it to u all...
glad im leaving soon...changing....phew
dont like u, n u, n u........
like u, n u, n u.....
very thin line....sheesh
thanks didi....love u lots....glad i got u this lil didi.....and Bobby-san....yar, im at the pits of my pits, but little people know it...they are blind, stupid, ignorant, proud and fuckingly hypocritical. so like whatever. but thanks to u 2 today for the chat....though my hp bill...*sObs* exploding soon....*sObs* haha
phew....glad i got that out....
nothing to blog today........blogged twice i think? haha....madness.....
when u promise something, make sure u keep ur promise. even if the promise is outside.even if inside the circle u act all holy and nice and friendly, but outside u dont keep ur promises to all the kids or elders who respect u lots, i dont think much of u at all....all i think is its a fake face inside......*sticks tongue out*
whee....heavy boulders removed! guess my life, though is in the pits, i can sail smoothly bahz....
the facts of life....
- 4/13/2005 11:38:00 PM
mental sick
physical sick
**** sick...........haiz
sorry didi...just now u called me but i no mood to talk...if i made u angry...really sorry....kor stupid. kor silly. but kor sick...wanna go sleep soon ler....when i wake up i call u. thanks for ur concern. *hugz*
sorry guys of Diamond House, today cannot join u all in games. i really wanted to...but sick...now feeling so weak. surprised i can type though....
took a scan...my scan is SUPER below average for something about oxygen amount in my body and skin. which means i not enuff oxygen...sian.....whats blardy wrong with me man....
ok...wanna go sleep ler.....
oh yar...gotta remember to call Bobby-san later....but before call him must call didi...hmm...must remember or later they get angry with me....
and mabbe ask Russ n Kel wanna have stayover not....
ok...zZz time
the facts of life....
- 4/13/2005 12:15:00 PM
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
totally ruin ur day man....
tomorrow is unit's workplan seminar and games day....im in Tug-of-War....ever heard of Joseph Saw in Tug-of-War? hilarious....definitely LOSE....haha
and NSAD just drop me a bombshell....not really lar....to be in the committee for NSAD Family Day! *gAsP*
now im super stress.....and EVEN more stress when my Boss says that for NSSC Annivesary (both in June!!! DIE)....the unit wants me to sing.......in the car porch right in the middle of CMPB! terrible!!!! i will die like nobody's business....or WORSE....be totally embarrassed by the whole of CMPB......GOSH! the things they ask one lil person to do.....
lOlx...my beloved didi....i say dunneed means dunneed.....u oso always give kor things what....like....uhm....haha....cannot think of any at the moment...but no worries....not like kor got no jeans to wear like that.....not like i desperately need another jeans....
what i desperately need now is Naruto DVD and more Tees!!!! argh....
hmm....wanna buy the glow in the dark bands too....but expensive leh...and Dominic havent show me the place yet....haiz....
wanna be like Dennard go apply gym membership...but need to put on weight first...and looking at things now....i REALLY need more weight...im now 52kg! lost 6kg in God-knows way.....haiz.....
ok ms Renfu....i added 5566.....happy? hahaha...
ok...tmr is unit's games day...think i better go sleep early ler....since im feeling feverish....well then....jyana!
*muacks to all my lovers out there!!! haha.....*
ps. im MAD
the facts of life....
- 4/12/2005 10:27:00 PM
Monday, April 11, 2005
my life is slowly ebbing away.....haiz....
oooh.....go click on the link that describes myself! added more stuff! though i dunno how to add pics yet....hmm...
wanted to blog lots of things....but forgot what i wanted to blog ler.....
uhm...sorry Jason4...u got extra duty while surfing the net...and seems like u were reading my blog...oOps....so partially my fault i guess......
i know accountability....but certain things cannot be told and cannot be accounted for........hope u all understand...
* why is it so hard to fall in love and be in love? *
I want:
* Zen Micro / Ipod
* more Tees
* a lover....haha
* another jeans
* coloured hair....aaarrghhh
* Naruto DVD.....aaargghhh
well...family....some of u promised to buy me things right? hehehe......my didi very guai....wanted to buy me the Levi's when we went out late one night.....but i dont want....Didi....you still studying....cannot anyhow spend money....on urself can...but not on kor....okies? *hUgGieS* but thanks for ur kind thoughts....
now the rest...u all should be ashamed!!!! haha....naah....im just kidding...
oh yar!!! yesterday noon played Impossible Creatures with Alan online.....and I won him!!! YESSS!!! it was cool! will play more against him!!! haha......
well...really dunno what to blog...so.....bye for now....
the facts of life....
- 4/11/2005 07:07:00 PM
Sunday, April 10, 2005
anyway...have to agree 5566 songs are nice....SOME....old albums nice...new one....yucks...haha
BUT.....why must they rely on CD during live performances? haiz......
my sis bought Cyndi's Honey for me...nice nice album! really...though i dont like her attitude.....haha....
and her voice abit the "gek" in some songs lar...
haiz.....
* ai...zai gu du zhong jue wang
zai jue wang zhong jian qiang.... *
still havent met the one yet that will make my loneliness and disappointment into strength.......
doubt i ever will....
mabbe i really dunno what i want....mabbe.....
but i really want n need it....in lonesome nights....it really get terribly sad.
my laughter echoes off the fearsome four walls...
my cries are trapped within the sonorous four walls....
n no one is there to share them with me....no one there to hug...
no one there to keep warm and to warm me in the cold......
no one there to feed me....no one there for me to feed....no one there to love me....no one there for me to love....
no one to tickle me....no one for me to pinch......
no one there to bit off one end of Cadbury Bar while i bite the other end....
no one to sip pink straw while i sip blue straw from our Ice Lemon Tea....
no one to suck one strand of Ramen with me....
no one there for me to mess up the hair....
no one there for me to be strong....
no one there for me to be myself....
no one there for me to love.....
want to cry but dunno how to cry.......
wanna cry but tears are stubborn.....haha.....
probably im just lying to myself lar......naah.........hahahaha.....
* yu...yi zhi bu ting xia * = - lei...yi zhi bu ting xia *
the facts of life....
- 4/10/2005 09:47:00 PM
n sorry to u, n to u and to u....u all know who u all r....just so sorry....glad its cleared up.....
ooh....my family! my didi, my darlings...everyone! can't wait for another partying session!!! when will it be? where will it be? let's go John's house....hehe....so big and parents working at night.....hahaha......then i can do anything i want......hahahahahahaha
argh!!! naruto DVD Vol.5 not out yet!!!! im dying to watch it!!!!! if only i can download...sObs...but NO!!! wont do that!!!! haha.........NARUTO!!!!!!!!! aaarrrggghhhh!!!!!
the facts of life....
- 4/10/2005 01:26:00 AM
Thursday, April 07, 2005
* xin fu de na yi shuang chi bang
fei bu dao ni shuo guode di fang *
happiness is wings...they can soar you high....but bring you down as you are enjoying it.....so is love.....
love is something i never fully had....whenever i got hold of it, it slips through my fingers....into the darkness...never to return......the gravity pulls you....and you fall with a loud plut.....*ouch*
i wanna be normal, have a sweet love, sweet gal....settle down with just hugs, kisses and companionship, but it seems these criteria are not simple, they are outta this world......no one seeks them now........thats y i was hurt....
i never knew love....and i doubt i ever will......
i never had love...and i doubt i ever will.....
how's my new blogskin? cool? hope so......
everything's cool....'cept for my feelings....deaded.....numbed.....cold......frozen...........
the facts of life....
- 4/07/2005 08:20:00 PM
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
im a person that goes by feelings....everything base on feelings...i put in alot....thus i get hurt alot.....haiz
i thought it could last....even r/s that came back not once, not twice but thrice, i was willing to give another chance....but all i got was hurt...not once, not twice but thrice.....
now this one i thought it will at least have a good ending...or last long....but didnt........
really hurt....why is it always me?
im never going to love again.....never ever......it hurts too much.......i shall just wait and wait, see people around me in love, float pass....while i will just be stagnant and wilt........
im never touching my feelings again.....i will f***ing NEVER put feelings into any bloody thing, friendship, r/s or whatever f*** again.............
it kills just to find an ending for yourself.......
bedtime fairytales are all freaking lies......freaking lies..........
just F off.....
| Your dating personality profile: Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about her appearance. Funny - You laugh often. People never accuse you of lacking a sense of humor. You don't take yourself too seriously. Romantic - You know exactly how to melt your date's heart. Romance comes naturally to you and is an important component of any relationship you have. | Your date match profile: Funny - You consider a good sense of humor a major necessity in a date. If her jokes make you laugh, she has won your heart. Shy - You are put off by people who are open books. You are drawn to someone who is a bit more mysterious. You want to draw her out of her shell and get to know what she is all about. Stylish - You cannot put up with someone who is lacking in style. You want an original, someone with flare, someone with good taste. |
Your Top Ten Traits 1. Stylish 2. Funny 3. Romantic 4. Outgoing 5. Athletic 6. Traditional 7. Big-Hearted 8. Religious 9. Conservative 10. Sensual | Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Funny 2. Shy 3. Stylish 4. Practical 5. Conservative 6. Traditional 7. Wealthy/Ambitious 8. Athletic 9. Romantic 10. Religious |
Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions
Naruto Personality Test: Which Evil Naruto Character Are You?
Your results are in! You're not very stable up there and you're quite a psychopath. But you weren't always like that. Long ago, you innocently searched for love but people feared you as you could not control the power in you. You lost all hopes of receiving love when even your most precious person tried to assasinate you... Now living only for yourself, you are Gaara of the Sand. Oh yah, your best friend is probably a gourd.
Gaara the Metal Worker
In real life you have a great affinity with sand and metal. You love the beach and loved playing with sand since young. You like building sand castles at the beach and most possibily you might be a gourd maker when you retire. You are also likely to be in the construction industry or you will be involve with metal works.
Likely occupations: (Metal Worker)
Metal worker
Construction related
Gourd maker
Sand trader
Gourd Artist
Psychopath
Your results are in! If you don't already, you'll eventually feel a need to protect the timid and seemingly fragile heir to the Hyuuga clan. Her struggle to change herself to be stronger touches you and you want to help her. You love the way she blushes and want to hear her whisper your name and play with her finger...
Hyuuga Hinata
Successor of the Hyuuga clan, shy and timid, your one true love: Hyuuga Hinata.
Rivals: - Uzumaki Naruto. Hinata idolizes only Naruto. You gotta beat the crap outta Naruto and makes sure he stays on the floor and then make a speech about how you'll never give up before Hinata will finally look at you.
Your results are in! You love guys who are sensitive, nice, and caring, which is why you'll fall for the perfect Chuunin teacher
Umino Iruka
Chuunin from the Leaf, kind and sensitive teacher, your one true love : Umino Iruka
Rivals :- None at the moment.
i will try to find more and put up...for naruto i mean.......this is the first i did n what i got for all 3....... guy one no worries....just for fun
LOVE SUCKS
the facts of life....
- 4/06/2005 09:47:00 PM
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
the facts of life....
- 4/05/2005 09:07:00 PM
Monday, April 04, 2005
i wanna be who i am...but it seems to be super difficult.....super duper difficult
thanks Alex for knocking senses into me....i promise you i wont degrade myself anymore.....i have to look hard....super heard, and source for what i truly, really want in life...i was stupid, foolish...now i know how to cherish myself more
but im really faithless about it....totally. have PM one of the person, but whether that person sees it or not, not my prob ler. at most after talking to the main person, i will just inform that person again and then its quits...
then its hello new area!
but if new area really nothing....sorry mummy but i guess its the end for me....yar....
hmm...why my group picture didnt appear yesterday? angry......haiz.....
the facts of life....
- 4/04/2005 07:53:00 PM
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Kakashi
Sensei of the trio Naruto-Sakura-Sasuke. Very funny guy...always appear late for meetings, gatherings or whatsoever notz....then will give lame excuses like he lost his way....blar blar....his hairstyle like mine, slanted to one side de...haha...very cool guy, especially for his one side Sharingan. thus, well known as Copy Ninja Kakashi as he copies moves of other people. However, he has a sad past. He saw his comrade die and couldnt do anything. therefore, now he will never let harm come to his friends or his team mates. he got his Sharingan eye coz of his dead comrade. Cool guy oso.... :)...but loves to read Come Come Paradise...a "bad" pervy comic...haha
Iruka
Seems like he is a ninja teaching in elementary school....like pre-ninjas....haha....was everyone's teacher then...but i suppose he loved Naruto most for he is always concern about him and thinks of him. probably coz they grew up without parents and had to make fools of themselves just to let people notice them. dunno how he got the scar across his face but it looks cool on him and makes him look cuter.....haha....he is a nice guy, always concerned of his students....like protecting Naruto from Mizuki......too bad he was scolded by Kakashi for being TOO concern over his ex-students..."They are no longer your students...."....haiz...but once a good teacher, always a good teacher right?
Jiraiya
One of the Sannins, and summoner of toads. he is also known as Pervy Sannin.....haha...coz he always drools when he sees pretty girls, especially in their bathing/b'dae suits...haha....always expecting Naruto to do his Sexy no Jutsu for him.....oh yar...he is the author of Come Come Paradise. however, he is a good person who stands up for the truth. though 50, he still acts like a kid and his actions and dance moves all damn lame and funny. he is Naruto's mentor and Naruto is able to use his 9-Tails chakra thanks to him. also taught Naruto to summon toads! he was the Sandaime Hokage's student. One of the 3 lar...and supposedly the worst student coz he cannot get the bells...haha
Tsunade
One of the Sannins, and summoner of slugs.....girls...slugs?!?! haha.....also known as the Gambler, though she sucks at it. she has this bad habit and another, that is to run away from her debts by changing her looks. that she is able to do. she is also known for her super strength. thought to be the cleverest among the Sannins too as she got the bells from the Sandaime Hokage when she was in his team. Will be Sakura's tutor, thus teaching Sakura to summon slugs and making Sakura more powerful. the cartoon mentioned 3 evil: lust, gamble and power. seems like the Sannins represent one of each. Jiraiya is lust, Tsunade is gamble and Orochimaru is power....haha....
" dont ask.......it will be revealed soon "
the facts of life....
- 4/03/2005 08:30:00 PM
more they retain, i think the more i will resist, coz this time im serious...
NARUTO
Rock Lee
funny, ugly guy....but pity him lar...no skills except for Taijutsu...the way he throws flying kisses at Sakura very funny! always watch that part over and over again and laugh until i die...his thick "geki geki" eyebrows...moppy hair.....haha...so like Guy! *yucks - Sakura* he's a strong character. confidence in himself.....very strong confidence...and he has many goals to reach, these goals usually are people whom he wanna best at. but the way he lose and thinks he can never win them, very sad...feel like crying for him......haiz.....
Tenten
a very chinah girl....all she does is throw weapons....abit the stupid i know. at first i thought her skills were of total Taijutsu, like Lee....but then i realise she also has Ninjutsu to do her weapons one...she like chinese dancer like that. use the scrolls like banners or ribbons like that. but still i find her quite useless....really....mabbe coz her first important battle was against Temari, so my impression of her not that good ler....haha....and weird name though. however, she is very sure of herself and her team....hmm...seems like Konoha produces lots of confisent people...haha
Neji
powerful guy. another person from the Hyuuga clan. was against Hinata coz of the Head and Branch family thingy....dunno if they will be friends in the end anot. However, his byakugan is simply wonderful. so young and his techniques so good....haha....but he seems quite a pessismist. and he always tell people to give in to fate but he himself, from his actions, show that he is fighting against fate....so think he doesnt know what life has for him and what he wants....but i think the fight between him and Naruto has sort of knocked some senses into him. that's good. cool quiet guy also. but never heard of any girls liking him. so Sasuke is still number one!!!
*Naruto - Nandattemaiyo!?!?!*
Gaara
powerful boy, cause of the incarnation and seal of the Sand Demon. so abit like Naruto, having demon inside him, no one cares for him and him feeling lonely. but unlike Naruto, he did not have people acknowledge him. so he thought killing strong opponents was his reason for fighting and living. a very sad character. his father wanted him to have these powers. but in the end want to assasinate him. his sand is super powerful. supposedly his mum's spirit is in the sand. so they protect him auto. but dunno if that was out of love or simply a curse. he fights very calmly and always unscathed, until as the story progresses, he loses more lar....but thanks to Naruto, he finds meaning and become friends with Naruto and gang!
Temari
the wind lady! like i described previously, like Plaintain Lady in Sun Wukong...haha. from Wind country so powers naturally wind. elder sister of Gaara. even she likes Sasuke a little bit. *Naruto - Kuso!!!!* she also has lots of confidence in herself. her whole team (family) is actually. she has also wits. so not only her powers but she uses her wits while fighting too. but she tends to underestimate her opponents, although she may know they are powerful....thats a bad point of her. seems quite sexy, the way she wears stockings and her skirt....haha. she very scared of Gaara though.....mabbe coz Gaara suppose to represnt the little brother "devil" in many families...haha, while she is the older sibling.
Kankuro
the eldest in the team, the elder brother. mastery in puppets. a total of 3 puppets. his real person is actually a puppet! smart sia! while he himself hides in one of the 3 puppets. his puppets are all dangerous. got sharp weapons, poison and other weird stuff...haha. although Shino defeated him, he had to protect Shino from a bad guy.....so it was like a circle. He lost to Shino. Shino lost to bad guy. bad guy lost to Kankuro....haha....he is also one who tends to underestimate his opponents. but in later episodes, he learns not to, i think coz of his fight with Shino. he is scared of Gaara too....haha. but his costume damn funny! first time i saw him i call him "black bear". first time my sis notice him, call him bear oso.....haha.....so funny
ok. ending here for today.....gotta go sleep ler.....hehehehe.......tmr...oOps...i mean today *its 1 plus am* auntie's b'dae, going to restaurant, so gotta wake up early!!! well...tata ~
the facts of life....
- 4/03/2005 12:45:00 AM
Saturday, April 02, 2005
dont expect me to be or expect things from me when you people tell me not to be when im not doing it. so there.
haha...my junior is sure easy to make fun of....just like my didi...no wonder first day saw him and knew him from SA, i know i must go and chat with him.....haha....now he wanna chat with me too! *for my Naruto DVD i suppose......hmm.....* haha....kidding. ooh....poor boy gotta go back on Saturday....haha...me too me too...on 23rd....haha......
true true, ur dept the worst. but the whoel unit now sucks....dunno what that person doing......haiz....let's carry on and hope for the best though....
ooh....my sister let her friends listen my IDOL CD....so embarrassing! but they say not bad....but i think its terrible!!!!! haha......
NARUTO Part 3
Shino
The BUGMAN!!!! haha.....and he defeats Kankuro! Power sia! his bugs act like Gaara's sand, protects him one. they live inside his body. and his body and split open! that's so super cool! but to have bugs crawling all over you and inside you...eew...not cool. he himself is also a person of few words. a very serious guy that thinks alot. he's sort of like the background person. but when things have to be done, he will do it. like Kankuro gave up his fight, but in the forest later, he wanted to fight. he never underestimates people. so to him, everything is the best.
Hinata
Cute girl from the super powerful Hyuuga clan! While every girl has a crush on Sasuke, she has her eyes on Naruto! Va-va-voom! She thinks Naruto to be her role model and gains confidence just by thinking of him. She will blush everytime Naruto looks at her. a good girl, doesnt speak much. she goes around with the group coz she dont want them to fail or anything. but she finally learns to have a mind of her own and to do things for herself and have confidence. expect more to come from her and mabbe love will blossom between her and Naruto?!?! *Naruto: EEEH!!!! I want Sakura-Chaaaaannnn.....hehe*
Kiba
A super loud mouth guy, like NAruto, but still cannot stand him yet.....haha....the only think i definitely like about him is his dog. he thinks too highly of himself, but dunno if its to protect himself or for love ones. but he can be super powerful when he and his dog, Akamaru combine powers. Akamaru is definitely cute!!!! haha....especially when he whimpers.....his family keeps dogs, so there hairstyle and facial expression look abit like wild men....or dogs...haha. he speaks loud, angers easily but thinks he is still a nice guy for he protects Hinata.....guys who protect girls are nice guys...haha
thats all for today! will type more tomorrow.
gotta type an important letter................*yawns*
what a bloody freaking waste of time
the facts of life....
- 4/02/2005 09:21:00 PM
Friday, April 01, 2005
oOh...Kim Yee and gang coming over to our side soon....one more sing song kaki to chat with ler!!! haha
what do i want exactly?
need to talk with 2 persons. will be firm in my decision......
Shikamaru
beginning when you know him, you will think he is so unbearable. everything "so troublesome"..."so irritating"...haha....he seems aloof and all...but as you watch on, you will like him more and more!!! he seems coward, slack and all, but he is a strategy genius! he is also brave and a friend that sticks to what he says. he's that kind of low profile leader, that rises only when circumstances show true people. his heck care attitude also very cool!!!! he's super funny too!!!! haha....slack...abit like me!!!!
Ino
pretty girl...but ah lian type....haha.....her powers are cool if work with Shikamaru....mabbe they will stead together in the end?! haha...the way she cheer also super funny! and also always laugh when she fights against Sakura, her best friend and worst enemy. Their story abit sad actually....good friends actually but coz Sakura wanna be stronger and not depend on her then.....yar....haiz....but she is good girl. helpful also. and stands up for the truth!
Chouji
FAT ARSE!!!! haha.....very cute! when you mention that or fatty to him, he will get super angry, then he power up ler! coz beginning he seems scared to fight and all, but as long as he hears fatty or related 2 times or more, he gets angry and will fight! or fight for BBQ!!!! haha.....he will bloat up, roll into a ball and attack! he's funny oso coz of the coils around his cheeks! like mosquito coils....haha.....but other than that....he's nothing. so he is just a funny character lar....but the way he keeps eating! bags n bags of potato chips! Ino and Shikamaru was like "I rather you bring more Ninja weapons than food"....haha....LAME but FUNNY!!!!
my workplace.....my dept still sucks lar...i prefer under mdm alice. people always misunderstand her. but people under her will truly know. beginning Alex they all also scared of her. but now, most of her really likes her. she guides and guards us....really, she takes in most of the arrows aimed for us.....i can say, in the office, she is the only one, and Mdm Kath, that im super willing to do more than 100% for....how i wish to be back under her....
but people getting nicer.....haha....n more newbies to bully....hehe...right Jason4?!?!
well, decision decided. will do it. will activate. will........soon.
the facts of life....
- 4/01/2005 07:16:00 PM
